my little man

If I may, share a little bit of a story and thoughts from the past years of TSS work with children diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum.  For some reason, my little man Joseph comes frequently to mind.  

Setting: sitting at the bottom of a half pipe hand-made slide on a cool spring day.

My little buddy Joseph yelled down from the top of the hill “you ready Miss Jenn?!”  With a smile I hollered back without looking, “yep buddy, go ahead!” After a moment’s hesitation, he says with a mix of annoyance and hesitation in his small voice “can you stand up miss jenn?!”  With a little chuckle, I moved from my rather comfortable position sitting sideways on the slide to stand at the requested spot – the bottom of the slide.  It was now my job to catch the little balls of playdo that would come bouncing and sliding down the halfpipe after he released them.  I smiled again as I heard him say to the balls “ready boys, ready…set…goooo!” and the balls were released from his tiny hands.  “Look at em go!  Oh Wow!”. 

Joseph absolutely loved balls. His favorite activity seemed to be rolling balls down slides or inclines – making these out of anything he could find, from pillows and blankets, to cardboard, to skateboards.  But now, on this day, he had a huge awesome halfpipe slide – his favorite. 

It occurred to me as I watched the balls and the delight on his face, that this exercise held pretty much no therapeutic value.  In all technicalities, I was not doing my job as a TSS.  I was allowing him to direct an activity (although he shared and took turns), I wasn’t correcting his speech overly much or bombarding him with receptive or expressive language questions.  Actually, we were at the bottom of a hill outside a church, which was having a game day in the gymanasium for tons of kids.  We had participated for the first 3 hours, but now we were taking a break outside.  

May if I had been a good TSS, I would force (encourage) him to stay among the games and interact with the children.  I would use physical guidance if necessary to keep him in line at games and wait his turn for the hundredth time.  The kids weren’t really allowed outside, but yet my presence allowed him to be there.  

As I thought all these things, I again looked at his face smiling in delight and yet concentrating on the task before hand. Overhead a plane roared and together we paused to look up at the airplane, discussing the noise and how it looked so awesome in the sky.  

Joseph and I connected well together.  There were very few times that I was not able to identify the problem with him or understand what he was trying to communicate.   I had known the young lad for about two years, since he was 4 ½ years old.  Together we had learned a lot… I couldn’t help but keep myself from wondering what sort of man he would grow up to be.  Earlier that day I asked him “Joseph, what do you want to be when you grow up”.  After about thirty seconds he replied from his nearby swing, “umm.. a dad”.  

In so many ways, this young man was finally owning his life and the world around him.  It was amazing to watch, knowing that a few short years ago Joseph was a non-verbal, screaming, kicking, and generally frustrated young man.  The event at the church with games would have created an instant melt down even a year ago – too much stimuli, too overwhelming, too frustrating.  Now, Joseph’s little legs carried him excitedly around – a “social butterfly” his mom referred to him as now.  He exchanged hugs, high fives, punches, and words with young and old alike.  Joseph was definitely a popular little kid - people loved him, as they should.  He was one of the more polite and innocent little 6 year olds with beautiful eyes and handsome face.  Humor and lengthy conversation were developing, making him interesting to talk to.  He seemed to contain a contagiousness and energy to which people were drawn.   

...it has been nearly 10 months since I worked with Joseph. To the best of his understanding, I am in Hawaii - which he identifies with a "far away city".   Last summer when I jumped on the trampoline with a nearly 8 year old kid, I was again amazed by his strength and resilience... and an adaptability which emerged.   Lately I've been missing his innocent nature so much...my little man, Joseph.  it was the greatest privilege in my life to be his advocate, self conscience, guardian, and friend. 

May the excitement and wonderment in his eyes/mind never cease to be in my memory.