Simplicity of Hope

The following week will see an end to the Hub of Hope - my office and home away from home for the last three months.  It's been quite the experience, to say the least.  Each morning and evening, men and women who currently live on the streets, enter the glass door and become part of the community that's been developed there. For the most part, I recognize each individual by name, face, and knowledge of their basic story, need, and goals... even their intention and interest regarding the Hub of Hope.

Certainly, there's no small measure of potential and actual conflict/tension/drama.  There's times to sit back quietly and monitor a dispute... others to engage quickly and facilitate problem solving... still others to sternly draw authoritative lines.  So many gray areas exist though, regardless of how one chooses to look at the situation.  My basic measure is to weigh and assess the detriment to the group versus benefit to the individual.  And, to the best of my abilities, see that the one does one does not outweigh the other.

Overwhelmingly I've found people to be reachable, not just at the Hub of Hope of course, but life in general.  Even the most hardened and lost and impossibly different - reachable. By one way or person or another, people can be reached.. helped.. connected with..understood.. healed. But a number of interactions over the last week create no small amount of doubt in that regard.  And it left me very shaken for a couple days. Thank God, those who support, encourage, and challenge me, provided helpful feedback and advice... so I find myself at peace, after a period of reflection and growth.  

Despite the mental/emotional strain and stress that a few clients create for me, it seems to be outweighed by the positive and encouraging steps taken by others.  Perhaps it's making an appointment, sharing cookies with the group, singing a thank you card for staff, or simply conversing in an intelligent and intentioned manner... the small gestures that speak of growth and positivity and hope.  

In the last couple weeks, the community established at the Hub engage in political and religious conversations, while sipping coffee in the morning. I generally enjoy the banter and discussion that arises... which remains surprisingly tasteful and encouragingly informed. Those who attempt to rock the established environment of the Hub, often find a rather rude invitation by the regulars... but, for the most part, I am pleased to see kindness and help extended. 

But. I am tired.. in a way that begs for a month of vacation, perhaps secluded in the wilderness... surrounded only by the trees, breeze, rocks, and leaves.  A 16 mile hike today left me physically exhausted and mentally/emotionally at peace... which is lovely, but more feels needed.  Despite that; I am not looking forward to the change in my work environment...sad to see the clients less frequently and become more sideline in their lives.  Above all, I truly struggle with watching the community at the Hub be scattered.  

But still, change is positive.  It brings growth.. and I wonder, if we're left with hope.  The word is certainly full of highly complex and abstract potential.  But at the end of the day, simplicity is found easily in hope.    

I Hope.