stuck like a sticker

A week of relatively intense reflection (in regard to professional and personal aspects) walked me through myriads of emotions... arrogance, guilt, anger, self-loathing, frustration, confidence, desire.  But at the end; humility and gratitude.  

you offer hope, 

when our hearts have hopelessly lost our way,

oh, we hopelessly lost our way.

I heard a little analogy...  a man told how his 3 children got in the habit of placing stickers on the one window of their family's minivan.  So over time, the window became plastered with name tags, animal and cartoon stickers, etc.  One day, they took the vehicle in for professional detailing. It came back to them free of crumbs, moldy/rotting food, broken crayons, or any dirt which accumulates from carrying a family of five.  However, the cleaner was unable to remove the stickers.  Even if he used a razor blade, it would scratch and tear the glass up because the adhesive nature of the stickers, blasted by the sun over time, enmeshed them to the window.   So, they're stuck. And, I've found (annoyingly at some times in life) that relationship with God operates in a lot the same way.  He's not so easily swayed or removed.  So

Keep your head up, 

Keep your heart strong,

Keep your mind set in your ways,

Keep your heart strong

In other unrelated examples of change, apparently my staple diet of tea and oatmeal have transformed into coffee (with cream and sugar, an additive I've always avoided) and fast burning carb foods.   I've spent about 4 of the last 6 weeks sick, with stomach flu and sinus infection and likely pneumonia.  Split schedule melts into long work days, filled with interaction with people struggling with drug/alcohol addiction, mental health, bad luck, and general troubles.  Criticism and complaints are constantly brought before me, with great expectations to fix.  Beautiful healing and progress I witness on a daily basis, with steps often small and seemingly immeasurable.  

Truly, the last few months have been wonderful and challenging.  I've learned that often, the greatest changes come in small quiet moments, rather than large leaps off the edge of cliffs.  My very restless spirit seems to be held in stillness for a moment.. patience and waiting have become my friendly companions.  

Every day, every moment.. we make the decisions for which we will be remembered.