trees of change

Autumn awakens part of my spirit that lays quiet through the rest of the year.  The incomparable crisp mornings... impossibly clear blue skies... unidentifiable scents, only associated with fall; it seems the earth smells different.  Planting young pansies and adolescent mums, the soil feels cool and wise..  different from the young, eager dirt of spring. The sights and sounds of festivals abound, laughter always seems to be in the air.

There's a celebration of people, life, and the season. People seem more joyous... lighter in spirit, perhaps free from the weight of hot summer days.   Personally, I find it rather difficult to not spread my arms out wide and twirl around under the gorgeous weather! And.. at least 13.5 times a day, I declare to anyone or no one - "it's such a beautiful (or any other similar adjective) day!"

.. generally the fall is accompanied by high levels of physical activity and sports. Running seems to come more easily (though this year I struggle) and hours accumulate quickly on the soccer field. It's strange how weather creates a sense of possibility and flourish of action, but yet woven with a sense of peace and rest. There's no other time where I am content to simply sit... cuddled in a sweater, listening to the birds sing, watch a stray cloud... simply be.  Though words find their way easily to lips, silence is just as close of a friend.

I've always been slightly amazed or obsessed with trees. There's huge variety in shape and size and color and purpose. Or perhaps it's because of their changing qualities: from fresh green leaves of spring, to mature foliage of summer, to bright or dull colors of fall, to bareness in the winter.  I feel so privileged to live in an area that sees all those changes. I'm drawn to pictures depicting seasons of trees' lives and my sketchbook holds a fair share of various trees.  I love analogies about trees... with their roots and connecting branches.

The patterned continuity of a tree's existence strikes me.  I'd almost definitely be a horrible tree, bound to the earth in one spot year after year; subject to obeying the rules of changing seasons without resistance; dependent on the weather (and no clear-cutting decrees) for survival. I could be an Ent though, from the mind of JRR Tolkien in the Lord of the Rings. They're the ancient shepherds of the world, a race resembling trees but able to talk and move about with slow ginormous steps.  Ents definitely fit my personality a bit more than poor stationary trees. 

But, since Ents don't exist outside of the fabulous fantasy world of Middle Earth, I imagine that I'm probably just a typical stationary tree. I wonder what kind I am.. definitely of the wayward variety. People often ask us to identify with a type of candy bar, as means to determine personality or characteristics or self determination. Candy is unhealthy and man-made, therefore a second rate and surface comparison.  Let us compare instead with trees. 

Are your roots deep and strong, or spreading more delicately over the earth?

Is your bark coarse and dark or smooth and light?

Do you produce fruit or nuts or flowers or syrup?

What shape, size and color are your leaves?

Who lives in your branches and trunk?

Are you tall or short, wide or thin?

Do you grow fast or slow?

For what purpose are you used by the little humans wandering around?

Have people carved their names in your bark?  Have you held a tire swing for delighted children and patient parents?  Have you safely embraced the adventuresome youth climbing to heights in your branches?  Have you provided shelter or acted as a landmark?

Maybe trees of earth, without the wisdom and abilities of Ents, don't have a great deal of choice surrounding their disposition or purpose or outward appearance... a seedling is planted and the tree grows in accordance with the environment and land its rooted. So where are you rooted?   As the autumn winds playfully tease leaves and the sun creates golden patterns through the world.. see the surrounding beauty and consider your past, present, and future "tree" characteristics. What preparations need to be made for the changing seasons?

One of my favorite trees growing up sat in Grandma's upper yard, with a little shed nestled against it's trunk.  It was the best climbing tree with perfect spacing and sized branches... and it allowed us access to the shed's roof.  The tree seemed perfect in size and shape, just a gorgeous oak (or maple, I can't remember).  Every year, without fail, it changed to beautiful orange and red hues; every summer it was a luxurious green.  But one day, as I was mowing and weed eating around this great tree... I noticed that it appeared to be sick. And, very soon, the tree died.  It was cut down to fire wood and the space is now empty.  I really have no idea why it died so suddenly, perhaps it was from a fungus or some such weird disease trees may perish from. But the tree's life story always bothered me.. it messed with the pattern of change I'd come to expect.

Although every year I anticipate cold temperatures and wind of winter with less excitement, I am beginning to find a certain comfort brought by the familiarity of change. Because, however long the night may be... with dreams haunting or inspiring... sleep peaceful or restless... the sun will rise.  

The world, as I see it, is a remarkable place.

God grant me the serenity,
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.