Learning, choosing, and practicing the meaning of 1 Corinthians love is perhaps the most pointed and consistent theme of the past few months. I've wondered, with some amazement but no surprise, how I've managed to live 27 years without truly understanding the implications of these verses. However, I suspect there's still far more to grasp.
Along with a season of rest, there's a period of great sadness for the pain and suffering seen so readily in the world. In many senses, I've felt surrounded by sickness.. represented in many ways, levels, and intensities. Very rarely am I confronted by tears arising unbidden to my eyes in response to situations (particularly that of clients). But I find it a far more common experience.
I pray a lot these days... for wisdom and discernment, peace and patience, freedom from bitterness and anger, and acting in love. I imagine that my murmurings for help arise from a very selfish nature, arisen from a desire to avoid drowning or suffocating or merely falling into a ball of negative emotions. Or maybe, I'm learning that I simply can't truly live alone.
The combination of rest, learning love, rest, and prayer is certainly interesting. I'm definitely in the least demanding work situation of the entire year.. it's way way less intense than the previous 9 months. And yet, the emotions compound. Perhaps, I simply have time to breath.
As always, lyrics from an artist carry impact and significance..
From my sweat, my blood runs weak
Let me learn from where I have been
Keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn
Keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn
________________________
In less serious news...
We have new upstairs neighbors, who are very loud and disturb us... are we old?
My hair is longer than it's been in about 10 years.
The NHL not playing is very horrible.
Swimming is an exhausting activity.
A mouse dying in an apartment stinks... but not as badly as ones roommate believes.
I hate writing EOH papers for a professor that I've argued with for 3 months.
Surgery on tonsils after a year is most welcome (for my brave and enduring sister)
Youth in the city are an absolute powerhouse, volatile and impressionable and in need.
Moving a man into his new apartment, after years on the streets and shelters, on his birthday is a pretty cool experience.
The season in which I promote and encourage the consumption of unhealthy sweets began with creation of delightful truffles, oreo and dark chocolate. Plans to make massive amounts of caramels are underway. I look forward to making Russian Teacakes, cinnamon sugar popcorn, toffee chocolate bark, and poundcake! And I search for a new sweet experiment for the year.
But the catalyst to this year's Christmas season: decorating trees with friends and family in New York. An absolutely fabulous and humbling experience.
Though the weather can't decide to be spring or winter, preferring instead to exist in a chilly rain, it's not difficult to imagine the warm smells and sounds and taste of Christmas at the farm.
Of course, December and the end of the year is not complete without Handel's Messiah. It perhaps tells the story of the seasons of our lives, the pain and suffering and triumph and joy. If there's a free hour and a half, do yourself a favor and listen to this most extraordinary work:
Peace
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