better smite than be absent

A great new friend enlightened me by sharing this quote:

“I once described faith as something I got on my shoe and can’t kick or wash off. I’m stuck with it. My poems are the trespasses and blasphemies of a malpracticing Christian, one who can’t stop ogling an attractive leg, or wanting to be first, who is venial, foolish, seldom at peace, horny and lonely, and so far from the kingdom of God that his whole life becomes the theme of that distance, someone knowing he is in deep shit. It’s the perfect place to be, where you can’t fool yourself into thinking you’re on the right track… The only thing I have to offer God is my sins. I am interested in mercy when it appears in places where you would never expect it. I am interested in love that shovels shit against the tide. I am interested in grace… It is better to be annihilated and crushed by God, if you are in love with God, then it is to have no relationship at all. Better God smite you than merely be absent. God does not ‘tolerate’ me. God loves me.” — poet Joe Weil

Although I've read it about 193 times, I continue to be impacted by Weil's words.  I'm not entirely sure if my current thoughts/feelings are in line with everything stated, but I know it's the conclusion I want to reach.